Three men in a boat.

The pilot,  the chef, and my carer.

First, the guided tour. My stateroom with en suite is cool with a big window, shaded by curtains and blinds. It is all wood and very clean. The door is split in two vertically like a little cupboard with brass bolts inside and outside. I wonder whose modesty we are protecting.

A tiny dining room leads through to the stern where the other two busy themselves with imminent sailing routines like remembering to cast off all the ropes.  A diesel engine makes comforting putt putts as we sail under the bridge into the Vembanad Lake and wetlands. The houseboat is steered by hand or feet from a chair on the front deck. I sit like the African Queen on a comfy settee behind, relaxing and enjoying the view.

A man in a canoe is shepherding his flock of 200 flapping ducks, quacking like stock market traders. Across the lake a women dhobis her washing, slapping it hard on a stone at the water’s edge. The lake is silver grey but not smelly or obviously polluted. Washing up uses water drawn from a plastic container in the boat and there is no apparent sewage, just an abundance of hyacinths, birds and fish. Small basic houses follow the water’s edge and children swim and wash as we pass so I hope it’s relatively clean. We move along at a stately glide the morning sun heating us to about 35 degrees.The heat suits me and there is plenty to look at.

The chef serves me lunch at a table alone in the dining room. Delicious salted fish, 2 vegetable dishes, white rice, fresh poppadoms and a spicy dhal which is too hot for me. I taste everything and discover if I eat a good amount of boiled rice with a small helping of the spicy food it takes the burning edge off. Followed by a cup of sweet dark Kerala tea, fried battered bananas and an ‘English Plum Cake’ in a sealed plastic bag. The cake is moist with fruit and ginger in it and matches the tea perfectly. The plum cake makes me realise the effort that has gone into offering me food they think I might like and I am appreciative.

I spend the afternoon watching the world go by and as the sun begins to drop we moor up outside an art gallery. We have to squeeze into a space sharing it with five other boats of various sizes. I jump off and have a look round.

Jerom and his wife tell me about his paintings. He charges me 50 rupees (45p) entry fee. There are painted portraits of all the Popes and water colours of biblical scenes. He says Darwin was wrong and although we developed from the apes, God created the bears. (At least I think that's what he said.) He had carved and painted about a hundred wild birds in relief mounted on wooden boards. It was a little surreal and I warmed to them both. I ask if he has a web-site and he said he is developing one but saving up for a floor first. I didn't want to buy anything because I couldn't carry it home on the plane. Eventually my three men came to get me. It was time to return to the boat for the evening meal.